Dio's Death
by Totally-Out-Of-It
Summary: How Claus is handling Dio's departure from this world - or ISN'T handling it.


**Dio's Death**

_How Claus is handling Dio's departure from this world - or ISN'T handling it. _

-

I wrote this because Dio wasn't mentioned in the last scene when Claus is talking about how everyone is doing.

I started crying while I wrote this...

-

-

I never spoke to anyone about it. No one ever asked me about it. I suppose they realized that if they did, I wouldn't be able to handle it. I didn't want to believe what the world was telling me. I didn't want to believe it!

Dio's death...

No! No he wasn't gone! I can't accept that! Not after all we've been through! Not after how hard he worked to have a normal life! He can't be gone! He can't! Not Dio! Not...

Why? I can't handle talking about this! He was so nice...and now I don't know where he is!

I know he's alright...He has to be. I can't accept anything else. I won't! Because that's all there is to it.

Lavi gives me strange looks sometimes...and I think she's trying to understand. But she never flew with Dio. She could never understand...She wouldn't understand what it was like to watch one of your best friends get harshly ripped from your side and turned into something they were never meant to be.

And I almost got him back!

But I was so focused on the _mission_ and _Exile_ and the _ship_...I didn't look back to see what happened to Dio. So, if anything happened to him...I would only be able to blame myself...Because I didn't care enough, Dio's-

No he's not! Stop it! Don't tell me he's gone!

His twentieth birthday's coming up soon...We'll have cake again, Al's gotten better since last time. We always have cake...I think everyone pities me. I think, I _know_ they all believe he's dead. I act perfectly fine when they're around, to let them know that I'm alright. But I can't stand not knowing where he is and if he's alright.

He wasn't alright when I last saw him. I hope his situation has improved.

Now that Delphine is gone, maybe he'll start liking flowers, maybe he'll be a vanship pilot like me. But no, he'd be in charge of the Guild's remaining forces, and work with Miss Sophia to make the world better, along with Disith. So even if he was alive, I'd never be able to fly with him...-

What?

If? Was?

He's not dead! He's not dead!...

heh heh

I used to say that a lot when we first moved into the large farm house with Tatiana, Al, and Alister and everyone. They always looked at me with _pity_, and I hated it! There were several times when I couldn't fall asleep at night, and there still are. Because I don't know where he is, but I know he's not dead. Because Dio wouldn't be dead.

He's too proud for that.

Oh god, I'm crying again, I know it...It's late morning, and I'm alone on the front porch. The girls went shopping, and I know it's for Dio's birthday, while Mullin and the kids are inside cleaning up for the occasion...even though he won't be here again this year. Because he won't be here...

The tears are pouring down my face and I can't stop them so I don't even try. I keep seeing his face the day I gave him my old goggles. They weren't that good, but his face broke into the brightest smile I'd ever seen. I didn't know my gift could call a smile like that...

Dio...Dio! Dio where are you!? You can't be dead...You can't! I couldn't handle it if you were!...But I can't handle this either! The others think I'm losing it, and I think they're probably right.

I need you Dio! I need you here with me to keep me sane. I'm not gonna make it alone! So hurry up and get back here! Because you have to be alive...you just have to be!

I'm always so alone, and no one understands what I'm going through...It's like a withdrawl. Like you were a drug and I'm having a hard time getting off that ride. It sucks. I hate this feeling. I'm always in that 'low' point, and there are only brief 'high' moments when I'm flying, until I remember how you used to love flying, and then I'm low again...

But it wasn't 'used to'! It's 'do'! Because you're not dead! He's not dead! He can't be dead! Because Dio's too strong for that! He's done too much! Too much for me! There's so much for him to do still! He needs to deliver a message for the commissioners, he needs to eat Lavi's salted pork, he has to swim in the lake where we used to live, he has to run through the field with Dunya's siblings, he has to see our new house! And he has to fly. He has to fly with me again! So you see? He can't be dead. Because he hasn't done those things yet. So he can't be dead!

Dio...I know you're fine, somewhere in this big old world of ours...You're probably wondering just what I'm wondering. 'Where's Immelmann?' I start to cry harder because...because no one calls me that anymore. No one calls me that except you. And I never knew how much I liked that until you weren't here!

So you have to come back. You have to come back and call me Immelmann again. You have to come back.

You have to come back to me.

So, you aren't dead. Because you're going to come back. And we'll have a party when you do.

_Fin_


End file.
